And every conversation now ends with “and everybody loves you.”
It’s okay though;
when you’re sick
people do what you want.
MovingToTheCoast
Went to an unexpected gyno visit today. Saw my cuts. Long story short they put me on depression medication and now my dad and step mom know. She didn’t tell them about the cuts though. awesome. :/
Just found out the boy i fell in love with is moving away either next year or the year after. no excuses. awesome. fall in love just to be left again. who gives a flying fuck anymore. I was almost being good. being happy. but who gives a fucking shit because no one fucking cares about me to even fucking wait. because i dont fucking matter. I might as well be fucking nothing. cut myself again. didn’t even cry. I’m a fucking void.
suicide becomes a more and more appealing option.
surprise i know. I don’t even want to try to count… god :/
fuck it. I don’t care. Probably wont be back for a while.
Intake
6 pumpkin seeds
1 biscuit with 4 spoonfulls of veggie/cheese stuff.
I’d say like…200 calories?
so beautiful <3
(Source: ednos-teen)
Today was awesome and awful.
2 slices of pizza (600)
Pumpkin seeds (100)
Popcorn (500)
Soda (200)
fruit roll (70)
2 small apples (300)
1,170. fuck.
After i ate the pizza my friends and I went to the new fish pond. As I stepped onto the dock it creaked. My friend grabbed me and said “wooooah. did you hear that creak?” and proceeded to guide me off of it. Everyone heard. Everyone laughed. It took all my might not to fucking cry. I got called fat 3 times today. so i felt like shit on top of eating . I’m done fucking eating. Done. You don’t ever call someone fat because you don’t know how far they’ll go to prove you wrong.
however today was awesome because my friend Dylan let me drive his impreza and payed for a movie and pizza and stuff. The only reason I ate it. He took me up to the columns and he knew that my friend hurt my feelings and cheered me up :3
Breakfast: Black Coffee (20?)
Lunch: small apple (150)
Dinner: (here it goes)
Ramen (190)
3 reeses (315)
Chicken noodle soup (140)
Chocolate milk (600)
1,415
I haven’t weighed my self due to lack of scale. Hoping i am to my 98 goal :/
Do itttttttttttt <3
(Source: slyspornworld)
Gahhh. I wish.
INTAKE
granola bar (200)
cookie (200)
tutti frutti (20)
ramen (150)
mashed potatoes & corn -small- (200)
770? Not too bad. Actually ate because emotional shit settled its tits :P Also my friends called me fat 5 times today. Every time they laughed and i tried to pretend to shrug it off. I teared up every time. I’m such a fag.
Me:oh hey I found a really good and sweet guy who really likes me and has a promising future :)
Head:Oh yeah, you don't like him anymore. You like this kid whom you just met and who is kind of a shady character. but you couldn't have known this before you started dating the good guy.
Me:Well. Fuck.
Head:Also, he's going to reach for your hand today. You'll let him grab it despite the pain you know will follow after. goodluck!
I need that
Not eating today. some emotional shit went down. It’s so much easier to not eat when you hate yourself more than anyone.
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Tumblr from my treadmill - hell yeah… on We Heart It - http://weheartit.com/entry/50576841/via/AnastaciaTW
